The End of Life with Bridget Sumser and Ladybird Morgan
Our podcast is hosted on Spotify and Anchor.
Bridget Sumser, LCSW and Mettle Health counselor, and Ladybird Morgan, RN, MSW and Mettle Health Counselor hold an informal and interactive conversation on navigating the end of a life. Dying is a part of life, but it's unlike the rest of life in important ways.
We Discuss:
0:00 Introductions
3:25 How to approach thinking about the end of life
5:05 Thinking about death ahead of time isn’t always relevant or possible
6:15 There is no one right way to die, defining what is true for you
7:37 The end of life is a combination of the emotional, biological, spiritual, existential and physical
10:00 The idea of “tending” to the end of your life
11:30 Making space for what isn’t touchable: maybe you can’t review your life, or your relationships or the existential
12:10 Being a caregiver and doing what feels right to you, this is your time to be with the person, and if others are upset or uncomfortable, that’s ok
14:20 Mundane aspects of a life are still in play at the end of a life
16:00 Exploring the core issues: what is your legacy? Were you understood? Were you seen?
19:30 There are logistical aspects that will take up space and energy before you can get to the legacy and existential issues
21:00 There will be times when someone doesn’t feel connected or doesn’t feel like they were able to have a good life
22:05 The pull of “staying” in life when being pulled back by family and friends
23:00 We can still offer love and connection and being with what is
27:02 Death is happening in the context of someone’s life and that includes all their life experiences
29:00 Not projecting your own desires and interests onto the person who is dying
30:00 Talking about the concept of a “good” death
34:00 How the death itself lives on in the person who live beyond the person, the legacy of uncontrolled pain or symptoms can live on after a death in the minds of those who were caring for the person
35:48 Patient Reflection: navigating treatment and care resources and care teams while also living your life, but also reflecting on the end of it. Being suspended between the notions of health and illness and when you’re in that turmoil, you’re not living your life.
41:00 Being together, while being alone
45:16 You don’t have to dive all the way into this topic, we can take small steps toward this topic in different ways and at different times and then stop when it becomes uncomfortable
46:50 Thinking about the location of your death can help other logistical aspects fall into place
49:52 Dying at home may not be the best thing for everyone, beautiful deaths can also happen in hospitals
53:00 Patient Reflection: how to make space for yourself to do less and how to message this feeling to those around you
55:44 Finding a gatekeeper to control the flow of information on your behalf
58:50 Whose reality is it??
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