My lifetime missed

I am originally from Portugal where for over a decade - 1961 up to 1974 - all the young men that were deemed fit were sent to the Portuguese Colonial War, in Africa. My dad was one of them. He fought the war in Angola for 2 years. Although by the time I was born in 1975 he had been home for 3 years, reality is he never did leave the war.

My childhood and teenage years consisted mostly of walking on eggshells around a father living with PTSD - obviously, back then we didn’t know what to call it.

I do have one happy memory with my dad. I’m 5 years old and I’m sat on his knee, outside our house. We are both enjoying the winter sun and I remember how good it feels to lean my head against his chest while the sun warms my skin.

I don’t have a photo with my dad. I do have a photo of baby me in 1975 and a photo of the ship that took my dad off to war, never to bring him back. Vera Cruz was its name.

So, not so much a story of a moment missed but really one of a lifetime missed.

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