Navigating Pet Aging and Loss
Our podcast is hosted on Spotify and Anchor.
BJ Miller and Veterinarian Mary Gardner co-host an informal and interactive conversation on pet illness and loss. Our pets hold a special place in our lives. They are companions without judgement, and embody the idea of loving unconditionally. So when they become sick and die, it can be overwhelming on a level that doesn't feel fully appreciated or understood by the society around us. We will discuss difficult emotions, what you can do for your pet when they have a serious illness and how to cope after the loss.
We discuss:
0:00 Introductions
5:00 What is our relationship to our animals? What is their signifigance in our lives?
9:56 How do we care for our animals’ quality of life? How to assess quality of life for our pets? How does their quality of life affect our quality of life?
14:35 What is the “joy of living” list for your animal?
16:19 Thinking about caregiver burden as relates to taking care of aging and sick pets - on average it takes around 3.5 hours a day to take care of a sick and aging pets
21:50 Thinking about euthanasia for your animals, it can be hard to make this decision - what is the subjective time period where it becomes something to consider?
29:20 It can be hard to know when to euthanize until you’ve crossed the line, it can be a large gray zone up to that point
30:12 Grieving a loss, and experiencing anticipatory grief when our pets are aging or ill
31:10 Animals can also experience grief: mope around, not eat, etc. and they can also react to your sadness and grief
36:32 Thinking about when to say goodbye - we tend to wait too long, it’s a good idea to plan for this moment. Do you want to do it at home? Do you want to be outside?
38:42 When we know that death is somewhere close, it may make sense to plan and call your vet and talk about what to do
39:57 The sooner a pet starts hospice, they will most likely live longer, and live better, longer, until they die
41:05 When to get another pet? It can be different every time
44:12 How often should we take senior pets to the vet? At least twice a year!
45:54 How can we invite early planning conversations with our vets?
47:45 Losing a pet and then getting another pet quickly after can be difficult to navigate - it’s ok to have feelings of anxiety
54:30 Taking time off to care for animals is difficult in Japan, is there peer pressure in other cultures to not time off to be with our dying animals?
56:34 How animals can take the place of people in our lives, it can be important to have another person hear that it’s not “giving up” to choose animals in our lives. Past grief may play a role in getting a new animal, because you know how hard it is when they die
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