How to manage difficult transitions
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Bridget Sumser, LCSW and Mettle Health counselor, leads an informal and interactive conversation on the many moments of transition experienced during serious illness and end of life. We all know that serious illness, disability and death create tough transitions as we move from our existing expectations to a new reality. But there are additional moments within those moments that require their own navigation and mind-set: moving a loved one to a facility, deciding to bring in outside care or electing hospice. Many of these transitions have their own emotional implications and the lessons for serious illness moments can be used for other life transitions.
When we started our discussion series, our hope was that it would be a place for people to come and share their experiences and get support and guidance from us, as well as from their fellow humans.
This latest discussion with Bridget Sumser on transition moments might be the best example of that above hope. We heard wonderful and novel insights on the difficulties of transitions from Bridget, and shared in raw human examples of these transition moments from our attendees.
No matter your health status or age or identity, we think there’s something on navigating life in here for you. But especially if you are someone who is navigating serious illness for yourself, or taking care of someone who is.
We discuss
3:47 What are different types of transitions as relates to illness and end of life?
5:30 Transitions around illness happen in multiple ways: clearly defined moments and micro-moments that occur over time
6:50 Thinking about the physical transition that impact our relationships, what we’re able to do and not do, our sense of self, medical management
9:25 Thoughts on how to conceive of small physical changes? Pausing and acknowledging
13:06 How to conceive of existential transitions: changes in our capacities bring up big questions around control and mortality
15:38 Discussing the trauma between the before and after of a diagnosis: becoming a new person due to a diagnosis
19:30 Difference in mental mentality around mortality before and after a diagnosis changes
22:40 What is the relationship between vulnerability and transitions? How do we hold ourselves in unfamiliar territory
26:17 How to conceive of transition moments as a caregiver
33:27 How transitions create changes in our relationships to each other: what is your new relationship when you’re both going through something that challenges your identity?
35:42 Navigating transitions in romantic partnerships
36:55 The nuts and bolts of care transitions: moving from one physical place to another and how this is also an existential transition.
38:00 Care transitions focus heavily on logistics, and this can take away from the emotional and existential issues that need to be addressed
39:11 The best care team for your situation will shift over time depending on what’s going on
40:36 How do we, or can we, anticipate these transitions? It can be soothing for some, and scary for others
43:05 Acknowledging that these transitions are a lot to handle and can be overwhelming
45:22 Continued discussion on being changed by transitions, by diagnosis, etc.: this process is a part of living a life
51:08 Expectations around “positive” or “good” transitions where one is expected/allowed to change vs. “hard” transitions when people are expected to return to their previous self
53:45 Navigating transitions when you have multiple things to do: adding time to your existence, while also anticipating important transitions, which way should we go? Existential? Or full speed medical? How can these two things live next to each other
58:09 Navigating discussions with adult children about your choices and decisions
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