Coping with the Stress of Serious Illness with BJ Miller
Our podcast is hosted on Spotify and Anchor.
Dr. BJ Miller leads a discussion on coping with the stress of serious illness, for patients, caregivers and clinicians. Life’s hard, especially when dealing with illness or loss, but there are tried and true ways to make things a little less hard and a little more meaningful; prayer, meditation, exercise, creative outlets of all sorts, to name a few. We revisit familiar coping mechanisms and discover new ones, while hearing from participants on real life examples of coping that have helped them. BJ also addresses attendees questions on the topic.
Show Notes:
00:00 Introduction to the topic
2:20 What is “coping" in the context of illness and death?
3:30 Existential fear and truth
4:30 Taking the sting out of fear
5:20 Strength in addressing fear
5:50 Dread, boredom and denial and feeling out of sorts
6:35 Leaning into questions about “why?” Why me? Why not me?
7:49 Having a reason for pain, versus senseless pain
9:30 “How” becoming a way to play with
9:53 Suggestions for coping: Being and Doing
11:28 Suggestions for coping through “being”
12:15 Coping: Feel the good stuff
13:19 Coping: Finding gratitude
14:12 Coping: Accepting and acceptance
15:16 Coping : Relating to others, relativity
15:40 Coping: Just be. Meditation on behalf of nothing
16:26 Coping: Call a truce with fear
17:26 Coping: Set Goals
18:02 Coping: Pray
18:44 Coping: Love. Giving and receiving
19:39 Coping: Change how you think
20:24 Coping: Be creative
21:10 Coping: Laugh
21:57 Coping: Distraction
23:30 How can clinicians offer coping suggestions that align with the real pain of illness?
27:19 Operating with meaning and purpose and acceptance
31:00 The Gus Project
35:50 Therapeutic exchange between clinicians and patients
41:52 Coping for caregivers and spouses
42:45 For patients: having control and agency
45:50 Scribing for patients with ALS, creating agency and legacy
49:00 Coping with delayed grief
51:45 Specific cues or questions to ask to get permission to touch someone?
53:27 “Fighting" as coping
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