Communicating with Others with BJ Miller

Dr. BJ Miller leads an informal and interactive conversation on communication.

As with the rest of life, navigating illness, from any angle, is so much about communication. But most of us don’t have much training in communication, and that fact gets extra tricky when there’s much riding on the situation. Communicating well with yourself, with family, friends, professional caregivers, and medical teams, each requires different nuance and skill.

Show Notes:

00:00 Introduction

2:24 Communication is everything

3:00 Different types of people you may need to communicate with

4:26 Speaking with family and friends

4:39 Speaking with your clinical team

5:39 Basics of good communication

5:46 Communication basic #1: Prepare yourself

6:05 Communication basic #2: Make sure people are comfortable

6:38 Communication basic #3: Tee it up

7:06 Communication basic #4: Say what you need

7:39 Communication basic #5: Meet people where they are

8:34 Communication basic #6: Hold some silence

9:03 Communication basic #7: Acknowledge emotions

9:47 Communication basic #8: Expect misguided responses

10:15 Communication basic #9: Try to hear beyond what people are saying

10:55 What NOT to say?

12:42 Holding silence

13:32 What you’re saying with body language

14:30 Other ways to communicate: putting your words into writing

15:42 Other places to communicate: going for a walk, going for a drive

16:08 Letter writing - www.mylastingletters.com

16:38 Be direct and ask for what you need

18:37 How to speak with clinicians who are not listening or not present?

22:15 Contextualize the conversation

23:35 Issues of confidentiality and talking about someone’s illness with other people

30:34 Communicating is difficult, but difficulties can lead to understanding

33:36 Miscommunication is possible when talking, AND not talking

35:37 What are other forms of effective communication for topics like death and illness?

39:18 What to do when people don’t ask directly for what they need?

48:09 Understanding the things that block people from talking about hard topics

50:15 Start by talking about something lighter to start

51:47 Communication and confrontation, communicating harder emotions like anger and disappointment

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