Caregiver Series Part 8
Our podcast is hosted on Spotify and Anchor.
Mettle Health counselors BJ Miller, MD and Bridget Sumser, LCSW discuss basics of caregiving and address questions from attendees.
Caregiving encompasses everything, from the emotional to the practical to the medical, the list is endless. We’ll discuss the basics of good caregiving, review the six “activities of daily living,” how to share the care load, what to expect over time, how to be a good advocate and coping mechanisms.
Show Notes:
0:00 Introduction
4:31 The difference between caregiving over long periods of time vs. a short sprint.
5:40 The necessity of flexibility and dexterity over time when caregiving
7:10 Being gentle with yourself during shifts, sometimes things don’t work out the way you think they will and need to be changed
7:40 Most caregiver situations will get “worse” over time, so gauging a “good job” during a decline can feel difficult
9:11 Explaining the physical aspects of Activities of Daily Living (ADLs)
10:00 ADLs live on top of the psychological, logistical and spiritual support.
10:41 Bridging the spiritual and physical work of caregiving
11:24 ADLs as part of a shift in a relationship
12:33 Physical care as relates to dignity. We build identity around being independent: moving from autonomous to dependent.
14:05 How caregiving changes relationship dynamics that were already in place: spouse, friend, partner, etc.
15:40 Grief in the midst of the business of caregiving
16:30 Carving out time to return to your previous roles before caregiving entered the picture
18:00 Difficult emotions are part of caregiving
18:50 Feeling relief around a death as a caregiver as a very normal emotion
19:33 Not wanting caregiving to end while also wanting it to end: feeling guilt
21:10 Difficult emotions leading to difficult actions
22:20 How intimacy and difficult emotions are connected
23:48 Importance of having someone else to turn to if your person doesn’t have the capacity to communicate with you
24:57 Importance of venting and having someone hear you and what you’re dealing with, getting it out of your mind and your body
26:38 Importance of open communication between “patient” and “caregiver"
27:44 The really practical part of how much information there is to share with other people
28:17 Asking to record doctor’s visits so you have something to reference after the appointment is over
28:45 How track the updates? Bringing in written communication vs. verbal
29:05 Figuring out a way to update people, and creating systems for logistical communication
29:47 Not everyone has others around to help, navigating caregiving solo
30:35 Not loving or caring about the person who is receiving care: how do you care for someone you don’t care about?
33:48 Being an advocate: speaking up for the person, attending doctor’s appointments, being a protective vigilant force
35:05 A lot of information is thrown at caregivers, with the expectation that it is all understood, but it’s a different language.
38:05 Primary caregiver vs. familial connections and disagreements
39:08 How the “patient” exists in many different roles to many different people: how we respond from different places
40:13 Different emotional issues in one room: how to find a north star in one room to rally around
45:43 Navigating and thinking about differences in opinions between family and friends.
50:39 No one is objective in this space: we come with our own thoughts and projections
55:45 How to disentangle your caregiver self from the other aspects of your identity?
1:00:24 How to help people you feel may be suffering in silence?
Join us in an upcoming event!
Get a complimentary session
Learn more about our services and see how Mettle Health can help you, or someone you’re caring for, by booking a short 20-minute complimentary consultation to discuss your situation with one of our counselors and find the best fit for future appointment types. You can join solo, or bring others in the care circle.
